Ann-Marie - Module 1

Hi, my name is Ann-Marie. I’m a dental hygienist. I’m married and have two kids, Jacob, who is 2 years old and Amanda, who’s 5 years old. My husband, Ken, is a police officer. We also have a golden retriever, Hunter. You might say that our life is a little busy, what with juggling two full time jobs, two little people, and a dog. Nonetheless, I have friends in similar situations and they don’t seem to be as stressed out as I am. I find that I’m constantly worrying about one thing or the other and it’s super hard to turn it off. My husband calls me a worry-wort and is always telling me to take a chill pill. He just doesn’t seem to get all worked up about things like I do.

For one, there’s the finances, I’m always worried about making sure we pay our bills on time and that we’re saving enough for our retirement and for the kids’ schooling. Then, there are all the things that could happen that we should save for, like what if the kids needs braces or if they want to play an expensive sport like hockey or do figure skating. Then, of course, there’s worry about the kids when I’m not with them– what germs will they be exposed to, have their friends been vaccinated, will they fall and hurt themselves at the playground. On more than one occasion, my 5-year-old has told me to let her go down the slide by herself. I just worry that she might fall and get a concussion. Then, of course, there’s my husband’s job that is a constant source of worry. I can’t have the news on at work because I get so distracted, listening for any mention of police. I’ve talked to other cops’ wives and they seem to have a better grip on this than I do. All my worrying is taking its toll – I’m always uptight or on edge, I can be irritable (my husband may say that’s an understatement), and I rarely get a good night’s rest – there’s just too much to worry about!

What do you think is Ann-Marie’s main problem?

  1. Depression
  2. Generalized Anxiety Disorder
  3. Social Anxiety
  4. Panic Disorder

Homework

Ah, lists making….I’m the queen of that.

My 3 goals for the program:

1) Not have my worry control me

2) Letting my kids play without being a helicopter mom

3) Sleep better meaning I’m not getting up at 3am and then worrying for the next hour about the upcoming day and then about how tired I’ll be tomorrow because I’m not sleeping enough which then just makes it harder for me to go to sleep

Where I put goals

To remind me of my goals, I found a picture of a relaxing beach scene and used that as my screen saver. I’m hoping that when I see it, it’ll remind me to take a breath and relax for a moment. We’ll see if it works.

Pros and cons of changing behaviour

The pros sound lovely, but I’m skeptical if it’s possible. Isn’t it normal in today’s society to worry – there’s so much going on and to keep track of. Isn’t it only those in the movies who get to relax when they have kids because someone else is looking after them? I’m also not sure if the potential disadvantages are enough to outweigh the pros…the pros seem pretty me-focused and in a way, kinda selfish. Isn’t a mom’s top priority to keep her kids (and everyone else) safe and organized?

Advantages of changing behaviour (imagine what life would be like without it) Disadvantages of changing behaviour (why you wouldn’t want to)
1) I could actually enjoy time with my kids. 1) Something awful could happen if I let my guard down.
2) I could truly focus on my job. 2) We’ll go broke or not be able to retire if I don’t watch the money enough.
3) I’d be able to relax. 3) My kids will hurt themselves and I’ll be to blame.



Pros and cons of maintaining behaviour (not changing) or trying to change

Advantages of keeping behaviour (i.e. reasons to keep it, how it helps me) Disadvantages of behaviour (i.e., problems it causes me, reason to change it)
1) it’s what I know. 1) It’s exhausting to be worrying all the time.
2) Nothing bad has happened so perhaps my worrying has paid off. 2) I don’t sleep well.
3) I feel I’m in control. 3) I’m not really fun to be around.


Read Module 1 reports from the other learners.
   
Jenny Mark Steven