Ann-Marie - Module 10

Wow, this stuff is hard! I started at the first thing on my hierarchy – going to the park and not being “that mom” who doesn’t give her kids any space. It was really hard!! I guess I’ve been this way for too long. I have to say I almost reverted to my old ways, because sure enough, one of the kids fell and scraped his knee. I just had to ride the wave, but it was hard not to think that if I had been right behind him, I could have prevented the fall. I had to remind myself that I won’t always be there to catch the kids when they fall, unless of course I home school them, which would be tough.

• Exposure task: Going to the park and giving the kids some space

Before the exposure:

• How distressed you think you’ll be (0-100): 70
• Thoughts, feelings, behaviours you notice before the task (i.e., what’s the worst the thing that can happen?): The worst is that one of them will crack their head open and it’ll be all my fault. Feeling pretty jittery and I’m noticing that I’m trying to tell the kids that they’ll need to slow down while at the park
• Likelihood of the worst case happening: You never know….it’s pretty easy for a kid to come down the slide too fast.
• Evaluate the evidence for or against the likelihood of this happening. Has it happened before? Have you always feared this situation? What are some reasons you should not fear the situation? What are some other explanations for your feared thoughts?:
• Yup, always feared something really bad happening…that’s my problem!!! When I step back though (and ask my husband for some input), I’m reminded that in all the times I’ve taken the kids to the park, never once have I seen a really bad accident happen at the park, even with kids whose parents are yakking away to each other or on their cellphones. Chances are low, but still there.

After the exposure:

• Thoughts, feelings, behaviours you noticed during the exposure: So, my anxiety fluctuated a lot during the exposure. Every time they went down the slide on their own, my anxiety went up and then came down when they made it OK. My anxiety went through the roof when Jacob fell and I saw blood. I felt pretty guilty and noticed some anger, as well. I also noticed some initial thoughts of “See!!! I knew something bad would happen if I wasn’t all over him.” In retrospect, I know that a little scrape is not a permanent brain injury and that these things do happen. I think the fact that he shook it off so quickly helped, as well
• Number of minutes you did the exposure: 60 minutes
• Maximum level of distress experienced (0-100): 100
• Distress when you stopped the exposure (0-100): 50
• Anything you did to avoid your emotions (distraction, safety signals): I don’t think so
• What did you learn from this exposure? Did your worst case happen? If yes, how did you cope with it? Well, I suppose I don’t have to be on top of the kids all the time. Amanda seemed to have fun and didn’t complain about me not giving her any freedom. I also learned that it’s OK to give them a little space and that they (and me) can survive a scrape. And, no, the worst case didn’t happen – this time!

Read Module 10 reports from the other learners.

Jenny	Mark	Steven